I have not usually found it helpful to meditate on scripture by focusing on a character in a Biblical account—but one day I did. So this post illustrates meditating on scripture by placing yourself in the story, via a character in the passage. I’m going to start by telling you how I came to meditate on this passage.
At a time when I was dealing with a particular habitual sin—one in my thought life—I was getting ready to take a walk and realized I wanted to choose that sin. As a walk does not require much attention, I knew my mind would need something to focus on if I were to avoid sin. I grabbed my Bible and just asked God to give me a passage that I could think about while walking. I opened up to the feeding of the 5,000—and was unhappy with that selection. I didn’t think there was much food for thought there and I knew I needed something that would capture my attention. I decided, in a grumpy way, that I could at least make a beginning. I got about as far as saying something like, “Thank you, Lord, that when we give you our little bit, you make it sufficient for the need,” when I was interrupted by the thought that I should consider the possibility that the biggest miracle in the story was not the multiplication of the loaves and fish, but the boy giving Jesus his lunch. That thought surprised me, but I pondered it. I realized it’s easy to imagine why a boy would not want to give his lunch to Jesus to feed 5,000 others (the foremost being, it seems like a good way to go hungry.) I thought of some other reasons, too. The thing that struck me the most is that every one of those reasons applied to why I was having problems with a sinful thought pattern. I ended up thinking about this for a good week. (Not bad for a passage with “no food for thought.”) In the end, I found myself thinking particularly about how the boy must have felt when the leftovers were picked up; the “garbage” was significantly bigger than the original lunch. I can imagine the boy saying, in awe, “You did that with my lunch?” I think God invites me to believe it’s possible that I might say to him when my life is over, “You did that with my life?”
I want to point out that through meditating on this passage I ended up with a good understanding of why I had a particular habitual sin. Dealing with those issues did not come from meditating on this passage. It came from meditating on scriptures that spoke to the root issues of my sin: my unbelief—doubting God’s sufficiency. Meditation on one passage can often lead us to meditating on other passages.
I believe one could also gain good insight by looking at this passage from the viewpoint of the disciples. Jesus tells them to have the people sit down. Until then there may not have been any expectation on the part of the crowd that Jesus is going to provide food—the disciples certainly did not have any such expectation. To have the crowds sit is to imply that food is coming and the disciples know full well that there is not enough food. Even when Jesus began to divide the food, the disciples had no way of knowing it would be enough for such a crowd. I wonder if any of the disciples were thinking, “Jesus, how could you ask me to do this?” It’s easy to be confident of the outcome when you know the end of the story, but what if I’m the one being asked to do what I know is not possible? How do I respond when the outcome is unknown? Do I want to put the biggest guys in the front to make sure they get something? Do I want to put them in the back in hopes I’ll be far away from them when the food runs out? Or do I trust Jesus to fully supply what is needed (with leftovers)?